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Aug
1st
Fri
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tehjai:

steel-plated-hearts:

a kid at hogwarts who just wants to get a proper education but can’t focus because of all of the shit harry potter and his friends keep getting themselves into

Jenna B. Lacey, age eleven, knew exactly what she was going to do with her life.

She was going to go to Hogwarts, get top grades, and be the youngest female Minister of Magic by age 35.

It would have been a good plan, if she hadn’t been in the same year as Harry Potter.

*   *   *   

Year one started out great. She was sorted into Hufflepuff, did well in all her classes, and aced the exams.

A troll smashed its way through the study room she was in on Halloween, but that wasn’t going to deter her. 

*   *   *   

Year two was a disaster. People were getting petrified, and worse—the teachers had to herd them from place to place, which severely cut down on her library time. She had to study in the common room, which meant instead of a nice, quiet atmosphere, she got a soundtrack of nervous Hufflepuffs.

And on top of that, exams were cancelled. It was a disaster.

*   *   *   

Third year, she started to notice a trend.

First the troll, than the petrifications, and now dementor guards and escaped convicts. What did they all have in common? Potter.

After Black broke in and everyone had to spend the night in the Great Hall, interrupting Jenna’s last minute studying for a test the next day, she took to giving Potter angry looks in every class.

He did not notice.

*   *   *   

They announced the Triwizard tournament at dinner the first night of fourth year, and Jenna almost started crying.

Potter was going to take this one over. She just knew it.

And she was right.

Voldemort rose at the end of the year. She honestly didn’t know what she had expected.

*   *   *    

Fifth year brought Umbridge. She joined the DA because she was going to need a better background in defense, but that didn’t mean she was any happier about Potter.

She imagined it was him she was hexing instead of Zachariah Smith.

But, by the end of the year, focus on her studies was impossible. After Dumbledore left, it was complete anarchy.

Potter’s fault. Of course.

*   *   *   

Sixth year she started volunteering in the hospital wing. She needed a backup plan in case Potter fucked it up.

All seemed quiet, until they brought Malfoy in. It was apparently Potter’s fault, which surprised everyone except Jenna.

Later, she was peacefully studying in a little nook on the third floor when some Death Eaters and some other adults started dueling right under her nose.

This was the worst fucking school, honestly.

*   *   *   

They were calling it “The Final Battle.”

Jenna ran through the hall, dodging in and out of the children evacuating, until she saw him. 

“POTTER.”

He turned, startled. “Um—Jenna, right? We’re sort of busy—”

She grabbed the front of his shirt and hauled him up until he was eye level with her. “If I’m not Minister of Magic by age 35, it is going to be entirely your fault and I’m going to hurt you.”

She dropped him and stormed away, leaving him to whatever he was doing. She had to fight this goddamn war so she could go back to her fucking studying.

*   *   *   

She became Minister of Magic at age 36.

Fucking Potter.

I think I just found the best Harry Potter fanfic

(Source: itsvondell, via notsomolly)

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sosuperawesome:

MountRoyalMint on Tumblr

Shop

(via notsomolly)

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nemhaine42:

weaponizedwit:

Beardy Cap for stripedteacups.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nemhaine42:

weaponizedwit:

Beardy Cap for stripedteacups.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(via notsomolly)

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notsomolly:

Sometimes I feel lonely and then I log onto tumblr, scroll through my dash, and think, “Yes, these are my people.”

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hermionejg:

baby-fish-mouth:

me and my dude were talking about the the common qualities that tie our groups of friends together, and i decided that all my friends are capital-b Bitches, like people who are decidedly not mean but who are so sick of the world trying to bring them down that they’re aggressively building themselves and their loved ones up, and they have zero time or tolerance for your meaningless shit because they’re busy being Bitches

image

(via notsomolly)

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metamorphosis2011:

Let’s play ‘spot the guys who’ve been snooping round tumblr’

x

(via vanity-est-venganza)

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missveryvery:

misspiratesavvy:

Harbor Police arrested a 29-year-old man early Sunday morning, July 27th in a hotel at 333 West Harbor Drive. He was booked into San Diego County Jail at 11:20 am on charges of sexual contact with a minor and contributing to the delinquency of minor. The victim, a juvenile female, was transported to a hospital for evaluation and treatment. The Harbor Police Investigations Unit is handling the incident. This investigation is ongoing.

HE HAS BEEN ARRESTED.

For those who don’t know what has been happening,

According to the girl’s mother, her injuries are severe, and indicate a vicious beating. Here is the account of what occurred from Tumblr:

IF YOU WENT TO SAN DIEGO COMIC CON OR KNOW ANYONE WHO HAS, PLEASE READ.

One of my dearest friends was found on the side of the road, unconscious and bloody. She was wearing this cosplay on the day it happened. She was last seen with friends when she ran off after a disagreement. Please, please, please, if you have ANY information or saw her anywhere, contact her mother. The full information is down below. This isn’t okay and it’s sickening to know that this happened at a place people truly can enjoy themselves. Please spread the word.

”I just received a call from the San Diego Police Department and my daughter REDACTED aka REDACTED was found on the side of the road covered in blood with no ID unconscious. They are unsure what happened to her. My husband is on his way to the police station and then the hospital. If you have any information on what happened to her please send me a facebook message or call me at REDACTED. Thank you in advance”. -REDACTED

Remember when SDCC said they didn’t want to make their anti-harassment policy clear because it would make it seem like there was a problem? (more)

well too fucking bad, now it REALLY looks like you have a problem, you fucks.

(via vanity-est-venganza)

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when elizabeth bennet cries, i cry.

(Source: halfagony-halfhope, via roranicuspondicuswilliams)

Jul
31st
Thu
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davechisholmmusicandcomics:

sixpenceee:

A glitch in the matrix is an experience that proves something isn’t right in the world or sometimes your brain. 

Here are some creepy experiences that are supposedly true as reported by these users. 

  • DEAD BUT NOT DEAD

by reddit user 3clipse

I knew my uncle had died.

My mom had called me and told me the news. It was very sad. She told me in the middle of work and I told one of my coworkers. He expressed his condolences on my loss.

A couple weeks later, my sister mentioned my aunt and uncle doing something. I said “but…he’s dead.” And my sister said no, he wasn’t.

I called my mom. No, he wasn’t dead.

To this day I’m still not sure how much of it my brain imagined and how much was real. Did I really talk to my coworker? Was I even on the phone with my mom at all that day?

It still freaks me out knowing that my mind could fabricate so complete and real a memory like that.

  • WHY DID WE TALK LIKE THAT

by reddit user WittyRepost

Several years ago I woke up in bed next to my (now ex) girlfriend and we had a conversation in fluent French. I got up and got in the shower, and as the water started running I realized, neither of us spoke French. When I got out I asked her about it. She remembered it happening but was as confused as I was. I can’t even remember what we talked about because I don’t fucking speak French. Brains are weird.

  • FORGOTTEN 

by reddit user Joevual

My dad has epilepsy and says that he’ll experience this when he doesn’t take his meds. Sort of like a fugue state. He went to Aspen on a business trip to design a ski lodge and he forgot his meds at home. He was supposed to do a big presentation but he never showed up. His coworkers looked for him for hours until they finally found him walking down the highway in the snow, 8 miles from their hotel. Apparently he had completely forgot who he was, where he was, and why he was there. He figured if he just started walking he could piece things together and figure things out. He snapped out of it when he saw the familiar faces of his coworkers.

  • A DIFFERENT PATH

by reddit user A_lot_of_italics

One day I was walking to work and all of a sudden had an urge to walk a different path than usual. I work downtown in a big city. It was a strange spur of the moment urge to walk a different way that changed my life forever.

I turned into an alley I had never seen before. As I remember it, I made it about fifteen feet or so when an actual “glitch” happened. Everything in my mind scrambled. I felt like I didn’t have a body anymore, just that I was a semi-conscious entity floating through some weird dimension. All of a sudden in the array of different colors and shapes a vision came to me. It was a bunch of strange looking people that in my mind resembled businessmen in suits. They looked startled and panicked that I could see them. One of the “people” made a quick movement and everything turned to black.

When I regained normality, I was on a completely different street. It was the same street that I always use to walk to work. I felt sick, and severely disturbed/depressed.

I’ve never done any hard drugs, never experienced any hallucinations, never have had anything like this happen to me. The weird thing is, when the glitch was correcting itself and I could see those “people” watching me like a caged animal I had the feeling that I knew I was being controlled. It still bothers me very much to this day.

  • A SHARP BEND

by reddit user pistacchio

When I was like 10 or 11 I was going to the beach with my aunt and her friends. There were two cars of us. To get there we had to go through a very large industrial area. We didn’t know the direction, so our car was following the other. Suddenly, they did an unexpected turn and so our driver had to take a sharp bend.

In that moment we heard a very clear, loud voice inside the car saying laughing “Sharp bend, hm?!”. The driver immediately hit the brakes. We looked at each other, puzzled: we all recognized it as a voice not belonging to any of us.

In the very same time, we noticed that the other car has stopped as well. The other driver got out of the car with a scared face and shouted to us: “Did… did you hear that as well?”.

They heard the very same thing inside their car. The area around was full deserted.

  • THE SUICIDE DREAM

by reddit user 47attemptslater

When I was a teenager I had two really intense dreams one night. The first one was about an online friend of mine calling me to say she’d broken up with her boyfriend, and I sang a few lines of Seal’s “Don’t Cry” to her over the phone. The second dream was finding a (real life) friend dead body floating in her bathtub.

I didn’t think anything of it up until I logged online that evening and the online friend came online to tell me her boyfriend broke up with her. I immediately asked if I could call her, and she said no. I remember thinking that it meant something, like I could change it. Not long after, my phone rang, and it was Real Life friend from the dream calling me. I was completely freaked at this point, but talked to her normally… she was just talking about school and shit… up until I realized I heard a splash in the background. I asked her, “Are you in the tub?” and when she said yes I felt like my heart had stopped. I asked her, “What did you do?”. She didn’t answer me right away, and then after a very long pause she told me she’d taken an entire bottle of pills and chased it with mushrooms and vodka. She’d gotten scared waiting for it to hit her… so she called me so she’d hear someone’s voice. I hung up and called 911. By the time they got there she was unconscious, but alive. Today she’s a mom to a beautiful little girl, and she’s ok.

  • NO BRUISES OR SCRATCHES

by reddit user mbalsevich

Was monkeying on the hand rails of a balcony on the 4th floor of my building and fell off, as 2 of my buddies watched in horror.

I remember seeing the concrete floor approaching as I fell head first and thinking “oh fuck - I’m going to break my wrist” (Why my wrist? dunno)

Next recollection is seeing my buddies yelling, from up there, “Are you OK!? ARE YOU OK!?”.

I look up, I say: “What happened?”.

They did not see my actually hit the floor, they just ran outside and saw me already standing looking up.

Not a scratch, not a bruise, nothing hurted. I don’t remember hitting the floor, standing up, nothing. No memories exist for those 1 or 2 seconds.

None of us 3 ever understood what happened. But we all saw it and agree on what happened.

  • MY EYES ARE BURNING

by reddit user ClassicJenny

About 15 years ago my friends parents, Steve and Julie, were woken up at 1am to a very loud THUD that rattled the house. Worried that one of the kids had fallen out of the bunk bed Steve went downstairs to check on them but all three kids were sound asleep and safe in their beds. Julie told Steve to check the house in case of intruders so Steve checked the doors and windows before going outside to take a look.

After ten minutes of investigating the noise Steve came across nothing unusual and went back inside to go to bed. He found his wife absolutely worried sick and she demanded to know where the hell he had gone and what happened. Confused and tired Steve told her he found nothing and tried to calm her down before Julie pointed out that it was now 4am and that he had been missing for 3 hours. Julie had even gone outside to check on him and he was nowhere to be found and didn’t respond to her calling his name. Unable to figure out what happened they returned to bed and slept until Steve had to get up for work in a few hours.

Steve owns a painting business and a couple hours after working on a house he noticed his eyes started to feel itchy, then his eyes started to burn, then after a couple hours his eyes burned so badly that he was holding his eyelids open as to not blink because it felt like his lids were sandpaper against his eyes. His employees rushed him to the hospital and Steve was treated for second degree flash burns on his eyes. He was told his burns were equivalent to staring at a welders torch without eye protection for an extended period of time. His eyes were treated and he was lucky to have his vision fully restored.

________________________________________________________

So that’s all I got for now. You can view the full thread here

So do any of you have experiences like this? A glitch in the system experience?

Make a post and tag “sixpenceee”! I would love to read them and will be reblogging the ones that really make me go “woah”

I love this stuff

Once when I was at work I thought I heard a couple asking about something in Chinese, so I responded and we had a conversation while I was restocking things. When I cashed them out, they asked me how I learned Korean. I don’t know any Korean and told them I thought they were speaking Chinese, which they didn’t know. We were all very confused =/

(via dontbeanassbutt)